Currently Listening Cruel Intentions: Music From The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack By Various Artists see related

- Bittersweet Symphony

Acceptance is a natural part of growing up... You have to accept the fact that some things happen and you dont have any power at all to change them... And the older you get the harder things hit you... Like saying goodbye to the ones you love...

You kno what fuck this... I*m tired of being so misdirective... I*m fuckin sad now... I*m literally crying in front of my computer styll thinkin of ways to say how I feel, but saying them so people get confused and not understand... I dont care about this one situation... Yesterday, 6/16/05, Was the last day of my aftercare program... And while I was workin there I grew attached with some of the kids there... 2 in particular are Juliet and Zoe Tuggle... I grew so attached to them that we could really consider each other family, so says Zoe... We 3 were inseperable... It made alot of children jealous, and some staff members pissed off because favoratism isnt allowed... But regardless of all that I didnt care and we continued to do what we did... But then I got a job at forever 21 and I wasnt able to spend much time at the school with the kids... It came to a point when I came back one day that Zoe was angry at me and didnt wanna see me anymore... Her sister was styll kool with me but it then that I realized how much lil Zoe meant to me... For those of you who kno, it was then that I realized that Zoe felt like what Alex would have been... So I was sad that I lost her... To make the news even worse was that Juliet told me that they might be moving... I didnt put much into it coz I didnt realize the length to how far they*re moving to... I told my manager at forever 21 that in the month of June, I couldnt work past 3 PM because I wanted to spend time with the kids more... It was then that I was able to reestablish the bond with Zoe and Juliet... The bond unbreakable by jealousy and order... We were happy... But then the bad news came... Ann, the sister*s mom, told me exactlee where they were moving too........... PHEONIX, ARIZONA... This sux... I found my friends only to lose them again... Fate is so twisted... Well I decided to get the 2 going away presents... I gave them to them on monday afternoon along with letters letting them kno how much fun I had and how much i*m goin to miss them and how they both changed my life... Well that same night their mom came to say goodbye coz she was moving out first so she could fix the house in Pheonix... The girls read the letters to their mom and, from what she tells me, she started to cry... She told me so because the following day she came into my store with tears in her eyes and a card in her hand... She told me thanks for everything, and I knew it wasnt those normal "thanks for everything, my kids enjoyed your company, have a nice summer" type of goodbyes... The tears in her eyes and the words on the card showed that she was really thankful someone like me was around to look after her kids while she wasnt around... Her card told me all the things that I wouldn*t have expected... That I meant as much to the kids as they meant to me... And how they couldnt wait to go to school just so they could see me... And also how they cried when they found out they were moving and when she thought it was coz they were gonna miss their friends it was really coz, by quote, "because were gonna miss dad and Mr. Paul"... When I read the letter I had to run to go on my break coz they came, the tears, and I didnt want anyone at work to see me cry... It ruins the whole Bad ass theme I have there... But anyways... Wednesday I spent all the time I could with them... Good too coz we had a half a day so we spent 6 hours together instead of the usual 3... I skipped work at forever coz they meant that much to me... When their dad came to pick them up they asked me to come out to the car... They had got me presents too... God I*m really gonna miss them... When they left I got a call from forever... I told them what happened and they asked me to come into work that night for a little bit to help out... I did... And to my surprise I bumped into the kids in the mall parkin lot... Its like fate brought us together for just a few moments longer... I took them shoppin in my store so they could by gifts for another staff member they liked... And then we parted coz I had to work... Finally yesterday... The last day... I held back the tears as long as I could... We laughed... We ran... I threw water balloons at them... We took tons of pictures... We ate Ice Kareem... Zoe stole my slice of pizza and Juliet my giant cookie... It felt like forever and it was good... I could replay the whole day in my mind forever and be happy... Until the bell rang and I knew who it was gonna be... The goodbye part was harsh... We hugged... I told them both i*m gonna miss them terribly when they leave... Zoe cried... And I watch them drive away... I held the tears as long as I could... I didnt wanna think about goodbye... I forced myself to think about all the fun times we*ve had and that made it worse... But I realize now that cryin is good when its for the right purposes... Your letting go of something you love... You have to for them to grow... And I kno those 2 are gonna grow up into something special coz............. They were always special to me... The rest of the world just has to see it... So this is my goodbye to you Juliet and Zoe... You were like my little sisters... Like my daughters... Where ever you go I kno your gonna do fine... Coz you 2 are special... And you have my love and support where ever you go... Take care of yourselves girls... I will always cherish our memories together... And thank you for making me a better person... Goodbye.......... Juliet and Zoe Tuggle...

Currently Playing Incomplete Pt.1 By Backstreet Boys see related

- Incomplete

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things in the world to do... Especially to the ones you love... But its a natural part of life... You*ll eventually have to say goodbye... Why cant we ever change that?!... Why cant we ever go against the things life intends for us to do... Because those who try get a taste of what nothingness is... But then again those who follow where life takes you, instead of goin your own way, will ultimately lead to that same nothingness... So the solution... Sometimes there isnt a solution... Sometimes, when the things people say dont make sense, it usually means that they*re all messed up in the head... So what do you do... Pity them?!... Show sympathy?!... Say..."I understand how you feel", when you really have no idea... I guess we*re all different about the way we interpret stuff... And I guess this is goin nowhere... So... until next time...

O eyah and just incase no1 clicked the link I had on my away message for a while...

And last but not least...

http://community.webshots.com/album/323821006sodJkl

Currently Playing Final Fantasy X-2: Piano Collection By Original Game Soundtrack see related

- Eternity ~Memories of Light and Waves -

Sometimes it hard to get things off your mind... And when you*re awake at 12*37 in the mornin when you should be sleepin coz you have work in 5 hours... Thats when you kno that the things on your mind are gettyn too much of a hold on you... But then again just takin the time out to write on xanga will be enough to get it off your mind... Like the perfect cure for someone like me... Talk about "it" but just not talk about...."it"... Aiightz... I think i*m good for the night... Thanx... G*nyte...